Friday, January 23, 2009

Secret characteristic!

We live in a world with diversity integrated in every part of it. We have people with different ethnicities, colors, creed, race, facial hair and dumbness. Even people follow different religions, have varied beliefs. But if you look closely there are some things that every human being does. I bet some animals also do them. Of course there are some obvious things like eating, fighting and hating paris hilton. But there is one hidden characteristic in every human that acts like a fevicol between a human and other humans, aliens, dogs, cats and film stars. It has the power to turn enemies to friends and Allu Arjun to gay! In the 5th edition of rocks, grass and dinosaurs written by the early man named two stars and a stick, on a mountain in present day sahara desert it is clearly stated that this incredible characteristic of humans is called "Gossip". It is like telugu lyrics of a.r.rahman's tamil song, tune will be same as the original, but no one understands the meaning. For example, Bipasha's boy friend is John Abraham is the news and gossip form of this news can be any of these and many more: Bipasha has a secret relation with John; Bipasha proved last week that she is not straight when she was seen last night with a tall lady with long hair and a T-shirt, she was calling her john; A bengali heroine is deeply in love with a model turned actor, she was last seen in Dhoom-2 in a bikini and the guy was replaced by Hrithik in the same movie, etc.

Being an expert in the primitive arts of gossiping I can tell you right away some of the advantages of gossiping, like you don't have to know about the news to talk about it. That way you can participate in any form and kind of discussion, you can come up with your own imaginative stories about the topic. I once came up with this story about earth being round and every one believed. It is a well-known fact that women love gossiping 0.0001% more than men.
So gossiping can help men to break the ice and score good with ladies. With my skills, I not only break the ice but also manage to break her sandal on my face each and every time.
Gossiping also helps cure some diseases like jealousy and insomnia. This is a proven scientific fact in the subject of gossipology. If you are jealous about some one then that can lead to depression, sleeplessness, hatred and an urge to watch Balakrishna movies. But you can cure all these with gossip. You can talk bad about that person in public and tell it is gossip and you heard it from someone. Now you have your revenge and you get good sleep! Gossiping make people forget about some bigger problems in the world. This is the biggest advantage. For example, Srija's marriage has taken precedence over the unstable stock market, iraq war, bomb threats and even daily serials. This incident gave people something to talk about, something to think about like how did she get married, where did she go, who helped her etc. Now they don't have to worry about rising fuel prices, pollution etc all they have to worry about is whether Chiranjeevi accepts Srija or not. You can also make money writing about gossips. If you don't believe me go to greatandhra.com and read. In a couple of days, I bet you will start gossiping. And the list is endless.

I did an intense study with my elite group of gossipers about how gossip started. After 15 minutes of intense brain storming and reading many sign-boards on the road, we finally discovered the birth of gossiping. Long long ago, when there was no lip-stick and britney spears,
there lived 2 early man and 2 early woman or I can say 2 early couples. One day both couples went to a movie. There one early man got exited and whistled. The other early couple didn't like that and they talked about how indecent that early man was. After a few days a third couple moved in the town and the couple went to them and gossiped on how the other couple was indecent. This is how first gossip started.

From MJ's nose to Dhoni's hair-cut to Blair touching Bush's hand, every damn thing is a gossip. Be a gossiper, but don't be a subject of a gossip. That is as dumb as imitating tushar kapoor.

No comments:

Post a Comment