This weekend was fun. I saw three movies back to back. Usually the count goes to five! But I restricted my self to watch only three this time, so that I could do something fun in my life. Something good, something meaningful. And I did. I watched TV and I made sure that I was not watching a movie on TV. So there you go, I started gaining some discipline in my life.
TV is the best source of entertainment and exercise for people. Those who don't watch TV and instead go out and work-out are called "loosers"! We who spend days and nights before TV and empty bags of potato chips before it are called "Couch Potatos", which in algerian tribe language means "Saints". Recent studies have shown that a normal human burns 0.4 calories everytime he lifts his remote and presses it. I do it atleast 1000 times on a typical saturday. so I am burning 400 calories just by sitting and watching TV. It is equivalent to running 4 miles and walking 8 miles. The big list of advantages don't stop there. You get to know many things about this world like egypt has pyramids, you can order a pizza either by calling them or online, Paris is in Europe somewhere near France, african female chimps like ravi teja and many more. People who dont watch TV wont know all these things, thats why they are loosers.
I was watching a program on domestic pigs in east africa on the animal planet. It reminded me of a movie called "Babe" on pigs. My mind, as usual, drifted from Babe to babes to bay watch to Sea to Titanic to Kate Winslet to Ice berg to glaciers to global warming to end of the world! Suddenly it started thinking about End of the world, questions started popping up- why was I not the lead actor in bay watch, why was the film tomb rider not banned, how will this world end! Since it requires godly powers to answer the first two, I was stuck with the third one. I decided to get an answer to that, with utmost dedication, hard work and immense research. I began my research, many people call it Sleeping. I have a special gift of fore-seeing future. When I sleep I see visions and there is 0.002% of chance for that vision to become true. My psychiatrist calls it a Dream.
Classic example is the 2001 sept 11th WTC blasts. I saw JrNtr dancing with Jayalalitha and Sonia Gandhi in my dream. That was not normal, that was ghastly, freaky. I got up scared and I was drenched in sweat that night and couldn't sleep for next 50 seconds. Thats when I realized that something worst is going to happen to the world and it happened. So I used my special gift to come up with an answer on how this world would end!
After a serious 13 hrs of research, I realized that I didn't turn-off my alarm. I hate to get up on sundays, they are for sleeping. Anyways back to my research. I found that there are three possible ways by which this world could end:
1) A telugu dubbed tamil movie
2) A rumour
3) A britney Spears concert in Winter
Let me explain how:
I saw in my vision, a man. A man frustrated by his boss and tormented by his wife. He want to get a break from his life. He want to enjoy his life for 2hrs 23 minutes. He thought of seeing a movie. Because of population explosion, he couldn't get a ticket to any good movie. At this very moment, he decided to do something which would change the world forever. He decides to see a telugu dubbed tamil movie. All the time he was in theater, he thought that his boss and wife are like angels compared to that movie. That movie robbed him emotionally and mentally.He came home, slammed the door and ended his life. When he slams the door, there is a lizard on the wall which lost its tail because of the slamming. It called for a lizard hunger strike until the man comes and apologizes to it. The man is already dead. This lead to a massive increase in insect population. They ate all the crops. Hunger everywhere, chaos starts. India attacks nepal for food, Nepal fires its only missile and it misses target and hits pakistan. Pakistan thinks its an indian missile and attacks india. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!
Or, A rumour can end this world. I saw in my vision that an iraqi comes to hyderabad for higher education. There he meets a guy called Sattibabu, king of rumours. Sattibabu tells iraqi that irani chai was called iraqi chai when it was invented. But an irani king attacked iraq and stole the recipe. He also changed the name to irani chai. iraqi goes back to iraq and tells this story to everyone. An irani spy in iraq hears this story. He runs to iran to tell this to his people. He runs 32.245 miles, and names it irani marathon. The prime minister hears the story and orders to attack iraq. iraq fires back. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!
Or, A britney spears concert can End the world. After a long time, when everyone thinks Britney is gone, no more of her singing, no more suicides seeing her dance, suddenly Britney announces a comeback. This time not just Britney, but a britney with no hair and a white beard.
She gains 30 pounds. No one buys tickets to her concert, but she makes a deal with US govt. If US govt can bring her some audience, then she will give a concert in Russia and Iran. US govt brought Jail inmates to the concert. They were told that it was free food day. poor guys dont know what's going to happen to them. Then the concert begins, inmates run for their life. But they are locked. Britney is in a security cover, so they cant kill her. With such frustration, they start to kill each other and turn into Zombies. They roam all over the world and turn everyone into Zombies and thats my friend is the end of the World!
So no more secrets about the dooms day. Don't do any of the above three and you will be safe.
Its time to do some research on "Flu in flies". zzzzzzz....
TV is the best source of entertainment and exercise for people. Those who don't watch TV and instead go out and work-out are called "loosers"! We who spend days and nights before TV and empty bags of potato chips before it are called "Couch Potatos", which in algerian tribe language means "Saints". Recent studies have shown that a normal human burns 0.4 calories everytime he lifts his remote and presses it. I do it atleast 1000 times on a typical saturday. so I am burning 400 calories just by sitting and watching TV. It is equivalent to running 4 miles and walking 8 miles. The big list of advantages don't stop there. You get to know many things about this world like egypt has pyramids, you can order a pizza either by calling them or online, Paris is in Europe somewhere near France, african female chimps like ravi teja and many more. People who dont watch TV wont know all these things, thats why they are loosers.
I was watching a program on domestic pigs in east africa on the animal planet. It reminded me of a movie called "Babe" on pigs. My mind, as usual, drifted from Babe to babes to bay watch to Sea to Titanic to Kate Winslet to Ice berg to glaciers to global warming to end of the world! Suddenly it started thinking about End of the world, questions started popping up- why was I not the lead actor in bay watch, why was the film tomb rider not banned, how will this world end! Since it requires godly powers to answer the first two, I was stuck with the third one. I decided to get an answer to that, with utmost dedication, hard work and immense research. I began my research, many people call it Sleeping. I have a special gift of fore-seeing future. When I sleep I see visions and there is 0.002% of chance for that vision to become true. My psychiatrist calls it a Dream.
Classic example is the 2001 sept 11th WTC blasts. I saw JrNtr dancing with Jayalalitha and Sonia Gandhi in my dream. That was not normal, that was ghastly, freaky. I got up scared and I was drenched in sweat that night and couldn't sleep for next 50 seconds. Thats when I realized that something worst is going to happen to the world and it happened. So I used my special gift to come up with an answer on how this world would end!
After a serious 13 hrs of research, I realized that I didn't turn-off my alarm. I hate to get up on sundays, they are for sleeping. Anyways back to my research. I found that there are three possible ways by which this world could end:
1) A telugu dubbed tamil movie
2) A rumour
3) A britney Spears concert in Winter
Let me explain how:
I saw in my vision, a man. A man frustrated by his boss and tormented by his wife. He want to get a break from his life. He want to enjoy his life for 2hrs 23 minutes. He thought of seeing a movie. Because of population explosion, he couldn't get a ticket to any good movie. At this very moment, he decided to do something which would change the world forever. He decides to see a telugu dubbed tamil movie. All the time he was in theater, he thought that his boss and wife are like angels compared to that movie. That movie robbed him emotionally and mentally.He came home, slammed the door and ended his life. When he slams the door, there is a lizard on the wall which lost its tail because of the slamming. It called for a lizard hunger strike until the man comes and apologizes to it. The man is already dead. This lead to a massive increase in insect population. They ate all the crops. Hunger everywhere, chaos starts. India attacks nepal for food, Nepal fires its only missile and it misses target and hits pakistan. Pakistan thinks its an indian missile and attacks india. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!
Or, A rumour can end this world. I saw in my vision that an iraqi comes to hyderabad for higher education. There he meets a guy called Sattibabu, king of rumours. Sattibabu tells iraqi that irani chai was called iraqi chai when it was invented. But an irani king attacked iraq and stole the recipe. He also changed the name to irani chai. iraqi goes back to iraq and tells this story to everyone. An irani spy in iraq hears this story. He runs to iran to tell this to his people. He runs 32.245 miles, and names it irani marathon. The prime minister hears the story and orders to attack iraq. iraq fires back. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!
Or, A britney spears concert can End the world. After a long time, when everyone thinks Britney is gone, no more of her singing, no more suicides seeing her dance, suddenly Britney announces a comeback. This time not just Britney, but a britney with no hair and a white beard.
She gains 30 pounds. No one buys tickets to her concert, but she makes a deal with US govt. If US govt can bring her some audience, then she will give a concert in Russia and Iran. US govt brought Jail inmates to the concert. They were told that it was free food day. poor guys dont know what's going to happen to them. Then the concert begins, inmates run for their life. But they are locked. Britney is in a security cover, so they cant kill her. With such frustration, they start to kill each other and turn into Zombies. They roam all over the world and turn everyone into Zombies and thats my friend is the end of the World!
So no more secrets about the dooms day. Don't do any of the above three and you will be safe.
Its time to do some research on "Flu in flies". zzzzzzz....
No comments:
Post a Comment